Dux Femina Facti
“A woman was the leader of the deed.”
Dear you,
I hope this email finds you relaxed and happy and at just the right time. I also hope it actually finds you at all. I never know how these land or where but someone on the Unfurl retreat told me this email was the reason why they came. So, here we are.
It’s a bloody long one so grab a cup of tea and put your pretty feet up. I’m currently obsessed with the chia water trend for a pre-ovulatory fast with decaf coffee, collagen powder and cinnamon but for balance this morning I’ve broken the fast with half a chocolate chip panettone as big as my face, deposited in my lap. Bless my teenage son.
It was such a gem soaked week, getting high on communal oestrogen. I’m even more convinced (and a little bit sunburnt) that a playful and deep immersion into women’s wisdom can change a young girl’s life, rippling onwards for generations to come. With 10 women and 9 girls aged 9-14, all of making a world together, I feel I could now write a book about all the precious, hilarious and tender moments with girls and their mothers (and one sweet Aunty).
And yet, amid all the magic is often an undercurrent of grief. How I would have loved this time with my own mother, to be held in her embrace, with breathwork connection sessions and a community of wise women around to guide me as I entered the realm of womanhood. I know I’m not alone in this feeling and it’s prompted me to prioritise connection, now. Tarot readings with my son, cuddle puddles with my extended family, morning yoga sessions with my partner and long/er hugs, calling my mum.
Also - presence - to this wild experience of being human, with all of these incredible senses to interface the world with. It’s easy to forget but the fierceness of an 11 year old can snap you back into wonder in an instant.
On a jeep ride to a waterfall I sat next to a girl who had stated that her intention at the retreat was to make friends, “and not just with the girls,” she’d said, eyeing all the mothers pointedly, “I want to make friends with the mothers too.” She was there to soak it all up. She said that I was free to disagree with her but that she thought the greatest quote in the world of all time was by Helen Keller: “Life is a grand adventure, or nothing.” The way she spat out nothing convinced me that she was choosing the former with all of her nearly 11 year old might and I agreed wholeheartedly that it probably was the best quote in the world.
Everyone made their own taliswoman to remember the retreat and their connection to their cycle. Last time I made a little moon necklace but on the cusp of 45 this quote spoke to me - dux femina facti and I embossed onto a silver necklace that I made (with help). It’s Latin for, “a woman was the leader of the deed”, or, “woman was the author of the exploit”, or simply, “a woman led.” It refers to Virgil’s epic poem the Aeneid and either way it means - a woman got it done. While I was packing to go home, three of the girls were in my sunroom, pacing around in the afternoon light and gesticulating, ranting about Trump and Musk and what they would do if they were in power. “WHEN you’re in power,” I corrected them as I tessellated my lady power props into little cloth bags. Their conversation was a reminder of the world they’re inheriting and how much they already have to say about it. They know, they feel the imbalance -but, they can name it, which means they are less likely to internalise it and have it get in the way of what they’re here to do. Dux femina facti.
While I wish everyone could do this retreat, (or had been able to), what I most want to share is this: it’s never too late. It’s never too late to bring ritual and reverence into your life, your cycle, your body…
You could -
Save your blood and pour it onto your garden (I did this in Bali under the watchful smile of a crescent moon).
Find even just 5 minutes to meditate, on your breath with your hand on your tender belly.
Take yourself to a sunny patch with a blanket and a sketchbook with no objective other than to let your hand wander on the page.
Take your time.
Not a cocktail
Mothers tell me, with tears in their eyes, of the relief they feel at making time for this rite of passage, catching the moment right as it arrived. This year, we had a returning mother-daughter pair. On the first day of the retreat, it was a new moon, and I was on day 1, as was Tilly, who, in a beautiful synchronistic moment, happened to get her first period on that very same day. Same day as the new moon, same day as me.
Coincidence? Maybe if you just put yourself in the path of possibility over and over, eventually, something lovely happens.
So, here is the possibility at hand -
We’ve had so many women reach out hoping, waiting for another one closer to home…
This email is your heads-up before we open the doors to the wider world: Unfurl is coming to Western Australia!
Together with Noriza from Wild Within, we’ve penciled in October 1–6 for an intimate mother–daughter retreat on sacred Noongar Country. This is a space to pause the swirl of life and re-enter rhythm, ritual, and deep relationship, with yourself, your daughter, and the wild wisdom of your shared becoming (hello peri). Stonebarn, the venue is delux, you can check it out here. They have clawfoot baths.
We only have six places available and I wanted you to know about it first. I’d also love if you could send this to any mothers of daughters you know who are looking for this very opportunity. It’s rare! There is talk of a potential Bali Unfurl in 2026 so do let me know if that’s more your flavour but for those who want to stay in WA - this is for you.
Instead of writing another book here about just how powerful this space is, we thought we’d let those who came before you speak for themselves:
“From the moment we arrived, we were enfolded with open arms and invited to Unfurl.” - Mum of 13 year old
“Lucy and Noriza hold space in such a fun and open and authentic way. Loved it wholeheartedly.” - Mum of 11 year old
“This retreat helped us slow down, do breathwork, and educate our daughters about our beautiful bodies and the cycle we experience.” - Mum of 10 year old
“I loved when we were all around the fire singing and dancing. How periods are a normal topic!” — 11 year old
“This sacred feminine space was a rare find — joyful, safe, deeply special. I heard my daughter say she’d never heard so many people talk positively about their bodies.” - Mum of 10 year old
“You powerful warrior women… thank you for showing our girls that the transition into womanhood can be beautiful and empowering.” - Mum of 13 year old
“It was the best experience. My girl and I leave confident, empowered, and inspired.” - Mum of 9 year old
“I learned a lot about the cycle and how to connect with myself through breathing.” - 10
“So comfortable, so well catered, time to relax and also learn. Seriously love you women for the opportunity you gave us.” - Mum of 12 year old
“I love that we swam, sang, played and got close to the other kids. I love the Unfurl retreat.” - 12
This retreat is feminist, embodied, and unforgettable. We balance meaning with joy. Rest with play. Ritual with rebellion. There is space here for laughter, tears, truth, connection, and becoming.
What I love most is how what really makes the magic is you, the group and the alchemy we create all together.
There is so much that literally unfurls. Did I think the anatomy conversation would evolve into a discussion on whether girls can pee standing up and them reporting back in the morning that they’d all been aiming in the shower? I really didn’t.
But I saw the pride in their eyes and their puffed up chests and that’s all that matters.
The cost is $4,900 for each mother–daughter pair, with long payment plans available. All meals, accommodation, and the full retreat program are included.
If your heart is calling you, reply to this email ASAP to register your interest or ask questions. We’ll send you a link to secure your place.
These six spots will be offered first to this waitlist and and then we’ll open it up to our full mailing list. We want this group to be aligned, ready, and wholehearted so feel free to ask absolutely anything and I’ll send you a voice note reply.
With love and anticipation,
Lucy
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